Dating a la francaise

Last night, I was at a dinner party at friend's place and the conversation became quite interesting and funny when we started to talk about the difference in between Australians and French about their love approach... I decided this morning to write this article and just resumed the conversation and give you some tips if you decide to date a French person.

The first thing you have to know is that the French do not have the concept of dating. They do not go on dates in the same way that Australians do, and they are not bound by the same kind of rules. An Australian might find some of the French mannerisms to be strange at first, but if you let go of Australian expectation and just focus on enjoying yourself, you might find the French love approach to be a delightful experience.

DO: Embrace organic and natural meetings

Since the French do not date in the way that Australians do, it becomes necessary for an Australian to embrace organic and natural meetings. The best way to meet and court someone is through natural means. A dinner party where you are encouraged to bring friends, a stroll around your neighborhood, or even a visit to a museum could put you face-to-face with someone of interest. Consider every occasion that you leave your residence as an opportunity to meet someone. Enjoy the freedom and lack of pressure from the Australian dating scene, and just let things unfold naturally.

DO: Remember there are no rules

Since there is no concept of dating in France, there are also no rules to abide by either. For instance, waiting at least three days to call, or avoiding communication because you don't want to appear desperate are Australian rules. These "rules" do not exist over there. If a man is interested in a woman, he will contact her regularly with no concern that he may appear needy. It is part of their culture to show affection through communication. Also, the taboo rules for when intimacies are appropriate on which dates do not apply. You can be intimate on the first date if you wish (not really recommended but it can happen), just understand that kissing and intimacy indicate an interest in an exclusive relationship.

DO : Be always honest and polite

French men are quite used to French women playing hard to get, so a "no" may not always be a "never going to happen" kind of no. If a man continually asks you out and you are not interested, politely tell him no every time. There is no need to get frustrated or upset. He will eventually get that you seriously mean no, and then he will move on. Also, if you begin seeing someone and lose interest, do not worry about offending them by calling it off. It is better to be polite and honest than to continue seeing someone you are not interested in. Politely let them know you are not interested in courting them and move on to someone else.

DON'T: Overcomplicate things

Australians tend to find the natural and organic way of meeting to be confusing. They claim that the lines of romantic interest and friendship are blurred without clear rules to define each. However, this is not true. The French will let you know their intentions. It is best to go with the flow and enjoy the experience. Some clues to help struggling Australians figure it out include being asked out for an informal coffee for one-on-one interaction. In French terms, that's a date. Being asked to engage in one-on-one interaction is a solid hint that the person is interested in you. However, if they suggest more group interaction, it could be that they see you as just a friend, or they're not quite ready to make that decision yet.

DON'T: Kiss and run

As mentioned before, kissing and intimacy are an indication that you are interested in an exclusive relationship with someone. It is not appropriate to kiss someone in a bar (or in a car lol) and then walk away with no intention of seeing them again. In rare cases that may be done, but as a general standard, it is not acceptable. Kissing someone on the mouth is considered extremely personal, as is intimacy, and indicates both parties (?) desires to be in a relationship with only each other. So, if you have no interest in being in a relationship with someone, don't kiss them and don't get intimate.

DON'T: Expect things to move at an Australian pace

The French are much more open-minded than Australians in many ways, but particularly in relationships. French men move quickly, discerning within the first meeting whether or not they want to call you their girlfriend, and then expecting a kiss or intimacy that same evening. They are also quick to offer expressions of love, and once it is said, it is uttered often. More contact signals that the man cares for the woman while less contact means he doesn't. There are no timelines involved, and the French are passionate whichever way they go.

French love approach is perhaps the quintessential picture of romance. A moonlight stroll by the Eiffel Tower, dancing to the sound of a street violinist, or surprising your love with flowers.... Open yourself to new experiences and let it come naturally.